But Are You Homeless?

I wish I could remember what site I met this joke of a human off of, but I unfortunately am getting old af and I cant. Listen, there’s nothing wrong with breakfast hangouts/dates, I enjoy breakfast foods at any time of the day. So that’s what this bum and I decided on.  I had to drive to his area, because that’s what ‘gentleman’ do these days.  No more driving to the girl, offering to pick her up, fuck I cant even remember the last time I was brought flowers on a date…I mean I was sent stalker flowers at work once but I’m not sure that counts as romantic.

So we decide on 9:30am…hold on, HE picks the time AND the location.  So with that being said, you should be prepared? I get there and I’m like “errrrmerrrgerrrd I just parked, walking over now, see you soon’  no response for a few minutes, no big deal.  I get there and its a shanky little hole in the wall, but there’s a wait so food much be good. I mean its breakfast…9:40 I get a text ‘oh I just woke up, ill WALK OVER SOON’  …..WUT?  Ten minutes goes by and the guy asks if I’m ready, I just said yah but I’m waiting on one other person, they sit whole parties so I get passed over a few times.

roll outta my card board box guy finally shows up almost by 10am.  Also I have to work this day AND skipped the gym, so I’m cranky. I hate waiting as I am very prompt on timing when I make plans.  It’s just simple respect for others time, which obviously you don’t have.  He has very clear rolled out of bed and just woke up hair, I even said ‘wow couldn’t even run a comb through your hair huh?” in which he thought I was joking…sir I don’t joke about being presentable.  Also, wore a ripped tshirt? whats happenng? how did you afford a phone with access to a dating site???

We sit, small talk for a while.  He’s sort of asking me super stupid questions, like he’s never been in an establishment before that serves food….we got our food eventually, and honestly…not impressed in the slightest bit.  Felt like we didn’t really get ‘breakfast’ sides or anything. No hash browns or toast. Literally just eggs and whatever meat, or well he got tacos? Then picked off the avocado like a child.  Okay. uh I just basically said that it was getting late and I had to get home to walk the dog before going into work.

HE ASKED THE SERVER TO SLPIT THE CHECK.

I’m sorry, everyone that knows me knows I damn well don’t care about how much money you have, or even splitting the check.  But if it’s a first date, I do think its a good impression for the man to pay…ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS A 26$ BREAKFAST….ugh, so I pay my whopping 13$ and we leave.  He offers to walk me to my car, and I just said it was okay I wasn’t parked very far.  He hugged me good bye before I could get my disinfectant out or even see what was coming to deny it.  I got home and later that day he asked if we could hang out again. I simply just rejected him and told him I didn’t feel like there was any attraction of chemistry there….

#cardboardboxbunking #idonthave26$ #butiaskedyouout #alsomadethetime #butiwaslate