okay so. This one started off as one of those, AWE he’s a super sweet nice guy & as quickly as Thanos snapped his fingers it became oh fuck this guy is gonna wear my skin someday. So without further ado, let me introduce you to Mr. Washington.
if I was to just be ‘visiting’ or ‘working temporality in another state’ I MOST likely would not attempt to date anyone while there? I mean that’s just me. Sure a one night stand is in some peoples rolodexes, not mine, but most degenerate kids these days. (why I outtaa) So if you change your location for where you are, for those purposes then that makes sense. But oh gosh, if that’s not you, then don’t do it. Usually after ‘matching’ with someone, I like to talk at least a week or so before trying to meet up. I mean I’m all for getting murdered, really, like its fine…but I’d rather know my killers favorite color first.
So we talk for a little over a week, and I invite him out with my girl Ling Ling (not her real name ) and her BF. This guy was nervous, because meeting me was already nervous for him, but he decided to come through anyway. So…that night were all having a drink and Ling Ling asks where hes from and blah blah. The kid decides to go ‘oh I’m just here visiting from Washington state, but if things go well with us then I would consider moving here’
yo. I literally just met you 17.89 minutes ago…excuse me? I don’t even know your last name, social security, credit card numbers and blood type.
Needless to say, things got…well a little awk. Lingy just laughed to make it a little less, and we moved on to the next topic…I paid for our drinks…I do believe in the guy paying for our first date, and if it continues to something that’s where I’ll go 50/50 or pick up the check all together.
so okay whatever kids here for a little bit, (2 months) we can hang out and be friends and just see how it goes. Trying to look on the Brightside, but all that know me…well I do not have a Brightside. So we get to the car, and he definitely wanted to slobber all over me, I just gave him a hug and said we’ll talk soon. So we decide to go to breakfast two days later, we meet half way at a spot in Rockridge. He tells me he had fun with my friends and we should all do a couples date someday soon…uhm no we’re not a couple. He continues to explain that he wants a photo of us together to send to his Aunt because he told her about me and how he wants to move here for me????? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BOYZ. I told him no, that’s really weird and makes me uncomfortable, why would you tell your aunt about me/anyone really. We really did just meet. Oh well he just likes me sooooooo much he couldn’t contain himself. Listen, all you know is I’m slightly attractive, you know absolutely nothing about my black heart or anything personal in my life for that matter. You don’t know you want to move here, you don’t know anything.
Oh. but he does. he FEELS it, he tells me. It was obviously meant to be, being here for work, matching with me on the site, its so clear to him this was destiny. ugh bigggg eye roll. I tell him I have to get going, I had work. Actually a true statement this time. Walks me to my car, attempts to hold my hand. Again, I don’t understand why no one can get any sort of hint. I’ve told you we’re not a couple, its weird you told anyone about me, that its VERY weird you want to move here after seeing me twice and talking to me for a week? and you want to try to hold my hand.
alright so flash forward to a few days. Within these few days, he’s sending random lovey dovey quotes and memes and selfies, that Im just not responding to. I break it to him, that well this just isn’t working out for me. I wasn’t looking to jump straight into some serious relationship with someone who doesn’t even live here, I continued to tell him that it was also creepy how into me he already is and that he’s coming on way too strong. He said…and I quote…
I just wanted to make sure you were my girlfriend by the time I left, so I can be confident that you’re mine when I make the move to the bay area to be with you.
I can’t insert emojis on this, but please imagine my eyes bulging out my god damn face X 5,000 times. I was embarrassed FOR HIM. I not only told him he was creepy and overly aggressive about this, but then told him its not going anywhere. And THAT was what he thought was the best thing to say? So, I did the mature thing, right? I told him up front it wasn’t happening, and I even told him where he went wrong, and he still felt like I needed to make it work with him. I started to ignore his calls and texts, it was getting out of control. I have read receipts on, so he knew I was ignoring him. He says ‘Please don’t do this like this, let me meet up with you and I can show you how good we can be together’
that’s it…BLOCKED #leatherface #murdermatch2019
uh also, he follows my spotify playlists…he’s the ONLY one. I don’t know how to kick him out . insert screaming distressed emoji here.
The Dating Life Of A Martini 